how to talk to your families about your guest list...
Woo! You’re ENGAGED. Pop the champagne and let the constant celebrations commence. This is the most exciting time of your life so make sure you ENJOY IT. One of the first things you will need to think about is who you want to celebrate your big day with. Here are our tips on how to have a stress-free guest list discussion – you don't want this to turn into a battle of the families!
1) Who's bank account?
Consider who is paying and what your budget is. Then work out what kind of wedding you want – small and intimate or one HUGE party. Work out those two things and then bring in your families. If both families are contributing financially, they should be given a number of guests that they can invite, especially if it is a big wedding, a few extras won’t make much of a difference. If you are paying then do whatever YOU want. Either way, make sure you get across the kind of party you want for your big day.
2) Who gets what
The traditional way of dividing guests used to be 50% to the couple, and 25% to each family. If one family has a huge amount of cousins, this doesn’t really work. And if another family is contributing a lot financially, this also may not work. Our advice is to work out what kind of wedding YOU want, decide on your favourite guests and divide the rest accordingly between your families. This way, everyone will feel included and happy!
3) Be Considerate
Try to be as fair as you possibly can; that is the only way to avoid resentment, hurt feelings and arguments. If you are forced to cut back on guest numbers, make sure to cut equally from each side, your own included, not just those of your future in-laws. Just be sensitive to everyone’s requests!
4) Take time to bond
If your parents or in-laws are inviting someone you don’t know very well, it’s nice to try to make some time to meet them and get to know them better before your wedding day. Your wedding is a special occasion and you want to be surrounded by people you know, besides, the guest will feel especially welcomed and comfortable if you’ve made that effort.
Guest lists and families can be tricky, but stick to our advice, be polite and considerate and you will find the task ahead of you a lot easier and lots of fun. You get to sit down with your family and loved one, put together a list of all the amazing people in your life and then invite them to one huge party!